It’s 5:00 p.m. You close your laptop, grab your bag, and head for the door. Across the room, someone says, “Let’s just talk for five more minutes.” You know those “five minutes” can stretch into half an hour, but you won’t be there. For women returning to work after a career break, those extra minutes can be make-or-break. Often, the reason you’re not there is simple : you have to leave to pick up a child, care for a parent, or manage responsibilities at home.
But in many offices, those end-of-day chats are when colleagues reconnect on a personal level – promotions, project opportunities, and even workplace collaboration are shaped in these informal moments. After time away, these moments are when trust is rebuilt, networks are renewed, and new opportunities surface. By tomorrow morning, decisions will have been made, and you’ll be piecing together the details second-hand. And in a culture where presence often equals influence, that absence can have a lasting impact.
When women have to leave early, whether for childcare, ageing parents, or logistics at home, they’re missing the rooms where subtle influence is built and futures are decided.
Real voices from Japan : a working mother’s perspective
In her article “Progress and Challenges: Reflections of a Working Mother in Japan” for TokyoDev, Keiko Kimoto shares an experience that will resonate with many. She was a top-performing saleswoman, consistently exceeding targets, earning promotions, and even outpacing male peers in her department. Yet after becoming a mother, the reality of Japan’s long-hours culture collided with the demands of family life. Staying late for “just one more meeting” or an impromptu debrief wasn’t an option when childcare pick-up times were fixed and public pressure to be a present parent was intense.
She explains that leaving before those informal evening chats often meant coming in the next day to decisions already set and projects already in motion, without her input. Her experience highlights a reality many women in Japan know well: missing these moments means more than ambition or commitment. It means navigating workplace norms and cultural expectations that quietly make it harder for women to fully participate while juggling career and home.
Why those last minutes matter
In Japan, around 60% of women leave the workforce after their first child, a figure researchers link not only to the country’s culture of long hours and after-hours socialising, but also to deeply rooted expectations that mothers should take primary responsibility for childcare, along with limited access to affordable daycare and other family support systems.
For women returning after a career break, rebuilding professional credibility means being visible in the right rooms, yet many of those “rooms” aren’t formal meetings, but the casual conversations that happen once the day is supposed to be over. Returning to work doesn’t mean these women suddenly gain full flexibility; most are still managing caregiving, childcare, or other commitments outside the office. These ongoing responsibilities often make it harder to join the very moments where influence is built.
Consequences of missing after-hours talks
Those “five more minutes” at the end of the day often turn into impromptu problem-solving sessions or the first whispers of a new project. If you’re not there, you lose the chance to volunteer, shape the conversation, or even be seen as part of it.
By the next morning, updates arrive piecemeal, someone mentions a new direction, a task gets reassigned, and you’re left piecing together decisions you weren’t part of. Beyond the practical setbacks, there’s the persistent unease of knowing the team’s real momentum happens without you. Over time, that absence can subtly shift how others see your role, and how you see yourself.
Staying connected without staying late
Not every solution requires stretching your day. Small, intentional actions can keep you connected without adding to your workload. One option is to have a trusted colleague fill you in casually the next morning, in the lift, or via a quick message.
If your workplace uses group chats or shared documents, encourage logging key points so no one relies solely on memory. And don’t underestimate the value of building rapport earlier in the day, checking in, sharing ideas, or offering help before those late conversations happen can mean your input is already part of the mix.
These approaches don’t mean working longer. They’re about advocating for yourself, communicating strategically, and making sure your influence counts, even when you’re not in the room.
Presence is not only physical
Leaving early doesn’t make you less committed. It makes you someone balancing multiple priorities in a culture that often expects the impossible. Similarly, leaving early doesn’t mean you lose your voice. You need to be intentional about how you show up. Influence grows when you rehearse, reflect, and refine how you communicate in career-defining moments. The more you navigate tricky conversations like negotiating, asserting ideas, or shaping a project, the more naturally your presence and perspective carry weight, even when you can’t be in every meeting.
Key take-away
Over time, these small habits transform the way others see you and the way you see yourself. Influence isn’t about staying longer; it’s about speaking with confidence, clarity, and consistency.