Am I still relevant ?

The hidden cost of career breaks in Japan and how to rebuild confidence

A career break can feel like hitting pause, only to return and find the world keeps moving. For many women, the question “Am I still relevant?” surfaces quietly but persistently.

It isn’t just a feeling. A Vodafone Survation global survey (2019) found that 42% of women reported losing confidence after returning to work, almost double the 24% of men. In Japan, where the expectation is to “return seamlessly” after a break, the weight of that confidence drop can feel even heavier.

Cultural barriers and the “M-Curve”

In Japan, the challenge of returning to work runs deeper than skills. Around 60% of women leave their jobs after their first child, a pattern so common it’s called the “M-curve” of female employment: women’s participation dips during child-rearing years, then rises again later in life.

The hiring culture, however, still prizes uninterrupted careers. Many employers assume a woman who stepped away is somehow less capable or less committed. On top of that, strong social expectations place family above personal ambition, creating extra guilt or self-doubt.

The result ? Women don’t just question whether their skills are sharp enough. They question whether they belong.

Voices behind the numbers

Statistics only tell part of the story. Interviews with women in Japan reveal recurring struggles:

  • Feeling unfamiliar with workplace tools or systems after time away
  • Anxiety about being judged, whispered about, or sidelined
  • Balancing childcare and professional demands with little flexibility

These worries often show up in silence. The thought “Do I still fit in here?” can hold women back long before anyone else has judged them.

It’s important to remember: you are not alone. These experiences are common, even if they are rarely spoken about.

Practical ways to reclaim confidence

You don’t need confidence to start but consistent little acts towards your goals. And your confidence will grow from there, step by step.Here are strategies you can start with :

1. Map your value 

Write down 3–5 skills or perspectives you gained during your break, either  resilience, organization, or empathy. These are assets employers often overlook, but they shape your professional strength. 

2. Rebuild social capital 

Confidence grows in connection. Reach out for a coffee with a former colleague, a mentor, or someone whose career path inspires you. Share your goals and let them know you’re restarting. Often, new opportunities start with simple conversations.

3. Join a peer circle

Women’s networks and small communities normalize return-to-work struggles. They also offer insider knowledge on hiring trends, in-demand skills, and industries with unfilled positions, insights that reduce uncertainty and help you prepare smarter.

4. Celebrate micro-wins 

Post your resume on a job board. Attend one networking event. Ask a question in a meeting. Master a new tool. Each small win builds momentum and signals progress, even when the big picture feels overwhelming.

5. Align with your inner circle 

Have an expectations check-in with your partner, family, or close friends. Clarify roles, responsibilities, and backup plans so your return doesn’t feel like you’re carrying the weight alone.

6. Create flexible rituals

Rebuild a sense of belonging through simple routines: a pre-job search check-in, allocated timeslots for “rebuilding confidence” like learning about new trends or attending, a shared coffee with a former colleague, or a short daily reflection on what went well. Small rituals anchor you and help restore professional identity.

Each step may feel small, but taken together they rebuild confidence and connection.

You belong and your impact matters

Doubts about relevance are not a weakness, but proof of your awareness and care for your work. The empathy, resilience, and perspective gained during a career break are not gaps; they are strengths that enrich your contribution in ways uninterrupted careers cannot.

To every woman returning: your skills are valuable, your presence matters. And  remember : you don’t have to do this alone. Joining a supportive community, sharing your struggles, and practicing new strategies with peers can make the journey lighter and faster.